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One of the most delightful German traditions is Kaffee und Kuchen, or coffee and cake, which is the Teutonic version of afternoon tea. German people still treasure this ritual, and I must admit that it was quite irritating to see so many slender locals indulging in slices of decadent torte. In the name of research, I risked my waistline in order to find the best places to enjoy Kaffee und Kuchen in Hamburg.